Rose: "Slash, I am your mother."

Slash: "I know. Actually I just told you you were my mom."

Rose: "I know, but it's more traditional for the villain to tell the hero."

Rosemary R. Cotton (b. May 25, 1899) was the illegitimate daughter of The Hulk and Kang Cotton. She was the mayor of Little Hillbillytown from 1917 to 3001, and often felt a compassion for the town, although she was a tyrannical ruler who accepted no nonsense. She is a primary villain, known for her cold indifferance to her son, Slash Glorgson.

Biography Edit


Kang: "What the heck is this?"

Hulk: "Our baby."

Kang: "Whenever my husband sees it he's gonna be mad. Isn't there anyway we can get rid of it?"

Hulk: "HULK SMASH!!!"

Rose was born in 1899 to non-married parents, the Incredible Hulk and Kang Cotton. She was one of four quadruplets, her siblings being Lancelot, Oliver, and Edward Cotton. She was born at the Wetfart Memorial Hospital, which expressed it's displeasure at her illegitimacy through her birth certificate:

We at the Wetfart Memorial Hospital would like to welcome the children of the wickedly unmarried Hulk Smasher and Kang Cotton into the world. On this day of 25 May, in the year of Our Lord 1899, let it be known that the bastards, Rosemary R. Cotton, Lancelot P. Cotton, Oliver J. Cotton, and Edward E. Cotton, were born.

Hoping those bastards take a bullet to the head to make way for us good, respectable folk,

Wetfart Memorial Hospital


Rose: "Hang on a sec, how did I get you pregnant? You're a man."

Glorg: "Actually I'm an alien. I have no specific gender."

Rose: "Then how'd you just rape me?"

Glorg: "That inconsistency has not yet been adressed by the writers."

Although not her biological father, Rose was raised by her mother's husband at the time of her birth, Jerry Springer. Her other siblings were scattered; Lancelot to be raised by Jerry's brother Palpatine, Edward to be raised by Kang in the far reaches of the galaxy, and Oliver left at an unknown orphanage, never to be seen again.

In her youth, Rose was an eccentric witch, in contrast to her later plainness. She wore pink hair, excessive makeup, and frilly robes. Her "father" on the other hand, a rough-and-tumble veteran, dissapproved of all things opposite of the norm due to his wife, a peculiar alien, having the affair which produced Rose, this same hatred caused his falling out with his brother Palpatine, a powerful dark wizard, and, at that time, emperor of the Galaxy. When she was four, having stumbled through a brief time warp and being given the body of an eighteen-year-old she was abducted and raped by the alien Glorg Glorgson. Glorg immediately became pregnant, and returned Rose to her home. Her bad experience with the odd, as well as her father's constant dissapproval of the strange, built up to cause her obsession with normalcy, often causing her to shame the fact she was a witch.

After being returned to her four-year-old body, Rose aged normally and at age 12 she was accepted at Lantern Academy, a coeducational boarding school, under Headmistress Uptight.


Rose: "Vote me as mayor!"

Carl: "We have to; no one else is running."

During her senior year, 1917, she began dating Sam Gamgee, who was 4 years younger than her but in the same grade due to high intellegence, and after her graduation married him on the site of the newly-built Camden Amusement Park. Later that same year, Rose and Sam had a son, James, who was born 50-feet-tall.

Although Rose's biological father, the Hulk, had been a giant, it was uncommon for the Giant Gene to appear more than once within 100 generations, and they had a test done to see what had gone wrong.

The results showed that incest had been involved: Sam was Rose's son by Glorg! By this time they were already in love, however, and did not get a divorce. Despite James' abrnormality, he was raised to be as normal as possible, taught to always wear plain suit-jackets and to sit at a 20 story desk.

Rose finally confronted Sam and asked him to tell her about his childhood. Sam said that he had never known his mother, but had been abandoned on Earth to be raised by the Gamgee family by his father and Uncle Flarg, who had preferred his twin brother, Slash. Sam told Rose that Slash had been born an alien, unlike himself who had inherited Rose's humanity.

Rose took all precautions to ensure Slash never arrived at her home, fearing his abnormality, including stealing the Horny Horn from her Grandma Belinda, which she believed when blown temporarily destroyed magical and alien powers in nearby weirdoes.

In 1917, Rose's stepfather, Jerry, went to serve in World War One as a fighter pilot. While flying over Germany, he was shot down by the Red Baron, and both of his legs were broken in the resulting crash. With nothing but a large supply of water, food, and magical spellbooks, Jerry was forced to wait out the time until his legs healed.

That same year, Rose ran for mayor of Little Hillbillytown. After she won the election she declared herself Mayor For Life, which, being a witch, was forever. She also, to "civilize" the town, renamed it Rose Town.

1918 - 2999Edit

Rose: "I hate weirdoes! Don't you, Sam?

Sam: "Huh? Oh! Uh... Yeah, yeah whatever... They suck...."

During the years 1918 through 2999 a large number of aliens and wizards immigrated to Rose Town, and were instantly forced to the lowest levels of life by Rose and her merciless Horny Horn.


Rose: "Why doesn't the Horny Horn work on you!?"

Slash: "Eh."

In the year 3000, during an ordinary spring day, Rose was lounging on her roof along with her husband. As they enjoyed the weather, a tiny dot appears in the distant sky, as it comes closer they see it is an alien flying toward Rose Town.

When Rose notices the alien, she blows her horn angrily and waits for his powers to stop and him to fall from the sky. However, he remains flying and introduces himself as Slash, Sam's brother. Rose immediately throws a fit.

He then calls her "mom", which causes her to scream histeracally "I am NOT your mother!!!"

James enters the scene, and Rose gives him a kiss, saying she loves him more than Slash, and Slash kicks James square in the chest, sending him into a coma.

Slash, dissappointed, flys off and rents a home off a nearby underground wizard/alien group.

He attempts to make ammends with his mother frequently, to no avail.

Slash then marries a local witch, Lisa Simpson, with whom he has septuplets, each born as teenagers.

He is also the first to discover that her Horny Horn does not stop wizard powers at all, but just gives nearby standers an erection.

During this year, Rose is also in a fight with Sam, causing watchers to yell "Jerry, Jerry!", and Jerry Springer, Rose's stepfather appear for the first time in centuries and yell "What?" It turns out that during his time healing, he studied the spellbooks he had been stranded with and became a powerful wizard.


Rose: "I shall win the battle! I shall become queen! I shall extend the monologues! I shall conquer! I shall--"

Umpire: "Oliver wins!"

Rose: "Crap."

In the year 3001, Rose continues her rivalry with Slash, much as in the previous year, and they are also introduced to an alternate universe when Slash goes back in time and changes the way his mother feels about weirdoes. The new odd-loving Rose however, begins to be overcome with dreams of hatred toward them, until things go exactly the same way as in the first universe, causing Slash and Rose to conclude they were meant to hate eachother.

Also in 3001, Lisa dies, and Slash remarries to Neilla Armstrong, with whom he also has septuplets (the fertile beast!). Neilla and Slash are quickly divorced, and her brother Neil becomes a frequent stalker and attempted assassin of Slash. One of Slash's children, Oliver, is adopted by Rose and Slash, and raised in a normal environment.

During Oz Fest 3001 however, in which Slash participated as a musician, Oliver runs away from Rose and rejoins his father as a wizard. Rose attempts to stop this action, but is than possessed by the ghost of Ozzy Osbourne who makes her give the title of Mayor For Life to Slash. As Mayor, Slash renames the town back to Little Hillbillytown. Also, Jerry's long lost brother, Palpatine, comes to live with Rose.

During the end of the year the Battle of Little Hillbillytown took place, in which all of the citizens fought for the right to rule the town. Rose fought, but was quickly defeated. In the end, Oliver the First, Rose's grandfather, and the most powerful wizard in the world wins and becomes the first king of Little Hillbillytown.

Physical Appearance Edit

Slash: "Why you lookin' so sour, mom?"

Rose: "I'm not sour, this is just the way I look."

Rose has brown hair and blue eyes. She is known for her plainness, often wearing a plain brown dress, which is in contrast to other immortal witches and aliens, who often wear splendid and colorful clothing.

Personality Edit

Rose is typically cynical and cruel toward others, although does not know how to react when others are mean to her, and is very self-concious. Although usually cold and demeaning, Rose has shown a strange ability to show affection, though akwardly.

Relationships Edit

Parents Edit

Albus Dumbledore HBP

Jerry Springer

Rose's biological father, whom she met for the first time at a 3001 Family Reunion, the Incredible Hulk, and Rose do not get on well. There is an estrangement between the two, and a sort of akwardness that Rose never had with Jerry.

Rose's stepfather, Jerry, who raised her from birth, was at first a bitter magic-hating man. After being stranded in Germany for centuries however and spending his days studying magic he became the second most powerful wizard in the world (after Oliver, his father, of course). Rose gets on well with her father, even though the two do not see eye-to-eye on issues of abnormality. Rose calls him "dad."

Rose and Kang have never seen eye-to-eye. Though they seem to have a bond, however strained.

Husband Edit

Rose's magic tolerant husband/son, Sam is the only man Rose ever loved, despite the incest. Rose is very sexually interested in her husband, though at the same time comically motherly, creating a strange relationship.

Earlier Ancestors Edit

Rose's step-great-great-grandfather, Gramps, an ancient shapeshifter, has never taken the time to meet Rose, as he does not consider himself obliged, because they are not related biologically. He does not, however, dislike her.

The overly ancient wife of Gramps, Bertha, shares his non-obliged feelings of Rose.

Rose's step-grandfather, Oliver I, considers her his granddaughter, though they do not get along because their views on abnormality conflict too much.

Oliver I's wife, Belinda I, gets along alright with Rose, as she owns her Horny Horn.

Children Edit

Rose's magic tolerant husband/son, Sam is the only man Rose ever loved, despite the incest. Rose is very sexually interested in her husband, though at the same time comically motherly, creating a strange relationship.

It is unknown if Rose actually loved her and Sam's son James Jameson, but she certainly raised and formed him.

Rose despised her alien son from the start, ignoring him, causing him mental and physical pain, denying she was his mom, and all other sorts of hatred, but by 3001 she at least acknowledged him as her son and helped him out of some predicaments.

Sam Gamgee

Grandchildren Edit

Rose never to the time to get to know her grandchildren, unless you count Oliver V, whom she briefly adopted.

Great-Grandchildren Edit

Rose hardly acknowledges her great-grandchildren, due to the fact they are all descended from Slash.

Neighbors Edit

Her abnormal neigbors often experience torture from her, and normal ones have only a bit more respect from her.

Appearances Edit

Rose appears in all four seasons of the show Weirdoes: